We both had a moment of realising our limitations. It’s like a dodgy plumber that you hire, who assures you that he will take care of the job, and then he leaves you with a dripping tap, a leaking radiator and a bill the size of your sofa. You know what kind of garbage shit blender you are working with, not us’ Well, I have come to realise something that I didn’t realise at the time. They said ‘You shouldn’t have to go for more than a minute and a half if you have a decent blender. I blended this shit like Bad Manners said to do, I even gave it longer than instructed fearing my blender/food processor wasn’t top dollar enough for the task. All I can say for sure is that there was brown sugar in there…and vanilla. Don’t play ingredient-roulette with your guests tastebuds man, just order your own copy of the book and be done with it.
Bad manners kitchen how to#
If you want to know how to make this for yourself then get out your cookbook to page 184 and you’ll know what ingredients to add instead of playing some fucking weird guessing game. Shit could happen.Īnyway, once the corn was shucked or whatever it’s technically called I tossed it in the blender with the other stuff. Sometimes when I swing a knife the cat runs away in distaste and fear. Okay, okay, that sounds impossible, and it probably is, but a) the mind goes to dark places, you gotta train that bad-boy to behave itself and not picture worst-case scenarios, and b) you haven’t seen me cook. Especially because the music was so loud that if I slipped and punctured my jugular no one would hear me cry for help.
Cutting the corn off the cob felt borderline aggressive and entirely dangerous. I donned an apron with tiny colourful muffins on it, “Purple Haze” by Jimi Hendrix was blaring in the background, and I went to town on this recipe’s ass. Spoiler alert dudes: there is no butter in it. So it was time for the Fresh Corn Butter Pie. Let’s see how far we can take this challenge. So, on we go baking, chopping and stirring until that god damn delicious book arrives on my doorstep and says the end has come. You lilac-wearing, potato-eating, Nancy-Drew-reading misogynist.Īnyway, I had no hope in hell of getting this done.īut if there is one thing I am good at, like a real fucking life expert, it’s going down with the ship. You were right about that…even if you weren’t right about saying that I had the handwriting of a schizophrenic person. My teacher used to say ‘More speed, less haste’ Well, you were right Mrs-What’s-Your-Face. I was hustling and bustling in the kitchen with pots boiling over, spaghetti burning to the pan, spice jars losing their lids and overpowering a meal to the point of inedible-ness. (It’s the little things in life people the little things that bring us joy – like good times with friends, the release of a new book or film you’ve been looking forward to, kittens and puppies for fucks sake.)īecause I am crazy enough to have thought that I could cook a shit tonne of recipes from the TK Party Grub Cookbook and 101: Fast as Fuck before the new cookbook Brave New Meal came out. I’m so excited that I could scream a muffled scream into my hand so that I don’t freak out the people that I live with. Bad Manners (previous known as Thug Kitchen)’s new cookbook is coming out and I preordered that shit ages ago. Piece of Shit Blender Pie (aka Fresh Corn Butter Pie)
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